A Little Distance Changes Everything

If you could step outside this moment for five minutes and observe yourself with a little more distance, what might you see?

I've been sitting with that question a lot lately, as I navigate a liminal phase in my own life that sometimes feels a little too big or too heavy to hold clearly from the inside.

In Chatter, psychologist Ethan Kross explores the power of creating psychological distance from our own experiences – the ability to briefly shift from being completely immersed in what's happening to observing it from a little farther away. The proverbial fly on the wall. His research finds that this kind of distancing doesn't minimize the experience; it creates enough separation for clearer, less reactive thinking to emerge.

I've found it helpful to write things out as if I were watching my life – or this particular chapter – unfold for someone else. Or to reflect on a single prompt: what might I tell myself six months from now about this moment?

I've also been watching a few of my clients find their own versions of this practice.

One has started using journaling to create that distance. Another began answering questions about his situation as though he were being interviewed about himself – stepping outside his immediate reaction long enough to describe what was happening from another perspective.

Both have been surprised by what comes into view.

The problem doesn't disappear. The emotional response doesn't melt away into sudden clarity and optimism. But our relationship to the situation shifts.

Something that felt enormous from inside the moment becomes one moment within a much bigger story. And just a little distance can create enough room for curiosity to return – and with it, a perspective that was difficult to access when the emotion was taking up the entire frame.

So if something has been especially loud in your head lately, I'll leave you with the same question I've been returning to myself:

If you could step outside this moment for five minutes and observe yourself with a little more distance – what might you see differently?

**

If you'd like support finding that distance — and the clarity that tends to follow — this is exactly the kind of work I do with coaching clients. Schedule a session today.