Hiring a Coach: Finding the Right Fit, Method, and Ethics for You

This week, along with millions of others, I got pulled into an online sensation.

A woman uploaded a series of TikToks – literally dozens – telling the story of how her psychiatrist allegedly manipulated her into falling in love with him.

The allegations are serious on their own, but one thing that’s been especially concerning to me as a coach is that this individual has been touting herself as a certified coach, offering services like “sobriety coaching” as well as Human Design support.

As her videos have gained momentum, former clients and commentators have begun raising questions about her coaching work – specifically, what her sessions looked like, how scope of practice was handled, and how coaches are vetted – if at all.

That’s the part I want to talk about here.

Because while coaching can be an extraordinary, transformative partnership, it’s also an unregulated title. Anyone can technically call themselves a coach, and many people do.

Without clarity on a coach's training, qualification, approach, and ethical guidelines, it can be easy to find yourself working with someone who is not prepared to support you.

And to be clear – this is not a “you’re only a good coach if you’re ICF-certified” argument. In fact, a few of the most impactful coaches I know are not credentialed by the International Coaching Federation.

But if you do want a certain level of governance, ethical oversight, and adherence to a formal code, a coach that's certified by a governing body like the ICF can offer that framework.

At the end of the day, it’s about alignment, transparency, and fit.

So, here's how to find out if a coach is the best fit – before you hire them.

Coaching Is Not Therapy

This past week, I attended a networking happy hour in which someone shared something I hear often: "Oh you're like a therapist for work!" Not exactly.

Coaching and therapy share some similarities – both can be deeply supportive, both involve intentional conversations, both aim to help people grow – but they are not interchangeable.

• Therapy is conducted by licensed mental health professionals. Therapists can diagnose and treat mental illness, process trauma, and address emotional or behavioral challenges that impair your daily life.

• Coaching is a forward-focused, goal-oriented partnership. It works best when clients are ready to challenge limiting beliefs and take action toward their goals – and are not in acute emotional crisis.

When coaches begin therapizing – treating addiction, diagnosing mental illness, or claiming to be able to help you heal your trauma – they are stepping outside their scope of qualification and responsibility.

That’s not just unethical; it can be harmful.

This is where ICF guidance is especially clear: a coach’s role is to help clients maximize potential within the client’s own context, not to provide clinical treatment.

ICF’s Code of Ethics requires coaches to clearly communicate scope, maintain strict confidentiality, and refer out to qualified professionals when client needs fall outside coaching.

If you find a coach who is claiming to be able to help you heal trauma, overcome addiction, or anything else that needs clinical treatment, please be very skeptical.

Signs of a Qualified, Ethical Coach

Regardless of credential status, all qualified, ethical coaches should be able to demonstrating a client-first approach, even if that means the loss of said client/s. Here are a few traits that you can look for as you shop for your own coach:

1. Clear scope of practice. They should be able to tell you what they do and what they don’t do. If a coach is claiming they can "do it all", please be very careful.

2. Experience + relevant training. This could be formal certification, specialized training, or extensive practical experience. The key is transparency. If you cannot find any relevant training or qualifications – or they will not provide you anything when asked – that's a clear red flag.

3. Evidence-based methods. They should be using tools, models, or frameworks they can explain and you can research. And I strongly encourage you to do so. Even if it is their own model or framework, it should be based in something that is proven through evidence and/or research.

4. Ethical commitment. This might be through the ICF or another recognized body, or their own publicly stated principles. If you cannot find any mention of their ethical commitments or they are vague when asked to provide clarity, it may be best to go in a different direction.

5. Referral readiness. They know when to recommend therapy or other support, even if it means the "loss" of a client. If there is a conflict of interest or something arises outside their scope, ethical coaches will not continue to coach you through it. They will refer you to a new coach, a therapist, or toward resources that could better support you.

6. Transparency. Their process, pricing, and expectations are clear before you sign or pay for anything. You should be entering into a contract with confidence as to what the coach is providing (and not providing), the structure of your sessions, methods/tools being used, and expectations for how you will be working together. If you are being pressured to move forward with payment and/or contracts before these things are clarified, please be very cautious.

Questions to Ask Before You Hire a Coach

To help you find the best coach, below are several questions that you could ask to gain a sense of clarity and alignment before moving forward. These are not meant to upset or trip up anyone you are considering, and if they do get upset with the questions – that's probably an answer in its own right.

1. What training, education, or lived experience informs your coaching?

2. What frameworks or methods do you use, and why those?

3. How do you measure progress with your clients?

4. What does a typical session look like?

5. How do you handle situations that are outside your expertise (e.g., mental health concerns)?

6. Do you follow a code of ethics or belong to a professional body? If so, which?

7. Can you share client testimonials or references?

8. How do you maintain confidentiality?

9. What type of client do you work with – do you have any baseline requirements?

The ICF suggests similar lines of inquiry, adding that clients should feel comfortable asking about the coach’s philosophy, the nature of the relationship, and how success will be defined together.

How to Interpret the Answers

There’s no single “right” answer to these questions – but you’re looking for clarity, confidence, and honesty about limitations. We all have different needs, and that's completely fine. But here are some clear green and red flags to keep an eye out for:

Green flags:

• They invite questions without defensiveness.

• They can explain their qualifications, approach, and methods.

• They feel comfortable discussing their scope, boundaries, and limitations.

Red flags:

• Vague or evasive answers.

• Overpromising or guaranteeing outcomes.

• Dismissing the idea they cannot help you through anything/everything.

Final Thoughts

Hiring a coach is an investment – not just of money, but of trust, time, and emotional energy.

You deserve to know exactly what you’re getting into, and a great coach will be just as invested in that clarity as you are.

Whether or not you choose someone who is certified by an organization like ICF, choose someone whose approach fits your needs, whose boundaries protect your well-being, and whose ethics you trust to be in your best interest.

Because the best coaching isn’t just about promising to change your life for the better. It's about empowering you to achieve your goals in a way that’s safe, sustainable, and aligned with what matters to you most.

Stay safe out there. You've got this!

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Practicing What I Preach

After writing this article, I felt it was important to provide you with my own answers to the above questions. So here they are, and I'm more than happy to answer any others you may have for me. Please do not hesitate to reach out!

1. What training, education, or lived experience informs your coaching? I’m an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) with the International Coaching Federation, bringing over 12 years of corporate HR experience. I hold a B.A. from Cornell University, a Certificate in Leadership Development from Korn Ferry, a Certificate in the Foundations of Positive Psychology from Coursera (in partnership with UPenn), and Certificates in Professional & Executive Coaching and Personal Development Coaching from the Coaching and Positive Psychology (CaPP) Institute. You can read more about my story here: About Me.

2. What frameworks or methods do you use, and why those? My coaching is grounded in values-based alignment and informed by research in positive psychology and neuroscience. Together, we clarify what matters most to you, challenge limiting beliefs, and develop research-backed tools and strategies to help you thrive personally and professionally. We identify your core values and signature strengths during your onboarding, and revisit them often – because aligning your life with them makes you twice as likely to achieve your goals and several times more likely to experience high life satisfaction.

3. How do you measure progress with your clients? Progress is measured against the goals we define together – whether that’s breaking free from burnout, making a values-based career pivot, cultivating resilient leadership, or building clarity and empowerment. For real examples of client success, please visit my Testimonials page.

4. What does a typical session look like? Our sessions are client-driven. We start with what’s most top-of-mind for you, explore why it matters, uncover the beliefs or perspectives influencing it, and identify strategies to move forward with clarity and confidence. Every session is aligned with your goals and the bigger picture you’re working toward.

5. How do you handle situations that are outside your expertise (e.g., mental health concerns)? I’m clear from the start that coaching is not therapy, consulting, or mentoring – this distinction is built into my onboarding process. If something falls outside my scope, I’ll say so directly and encourage you to seek other resources. I maintain a trusted network of therapists and coaches (including my own) to refer to when needed, and I regularly consult with peers to ensure I’m prepared to support my clients within my role.

6. Do you follow a code of ethics or belong to a professional body? If so, which? Yes. I’m an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) with the International Coaching Federation and adhere to their Code of Ethics.

7. Can you share client testimonials or references? Absolutely! You can read client success stories and feedback from both current and past clients here: Testimonials.

8. How do you maintain confidentiality? I maintain the strictest level of confidentiality in accordance with the ICF Code of Ethics. I do not share client information without explicit consent, and even my testimonials are written to protect client privacy. The only exceptions are if disclosure is required by law, court order, or in cases of imminent risk of harm. Session notes are kept in password-protected files accessible only to me.

9. What type of client do you work with – do you have any baseline requirements? I work with ambitious, growth-oriented clients who are committed to taking action. My role is not to solve your problems or make decisions for you – it’s to equip you with the clarity, tools, and confidence to navigate change and thrive, both during our work together and long after.

10. How can I begin working with you? Not a question from above, but I'm including it anyway! :) You can review my current offerings or schedule your first session today.