Inspiration vs. Desperation - The Subtle Art of Choosing Purpose

Some lessons land quietly.

Others knock on your door three times in the same week.

Since a conversation around the topic with my best friend Veg last weekend, the idea of inspiration vs. desperation has surfaced twice more with two of my coaching clients.

Each of them, in their own words, reflected on a shift they were feeling: a move away from fear-driven decisions and toward choices grounded in clarity, curiosity, and confidence.

They were on a journey from desperation to inspiration.

At the start of our work together, desperation was often in the driver’s seat. Decisions were made out of panic, rather than excitement. Choices were driven by fear or resignation, rather than alignment, courage, or growth.

And it made perfect sense!

When we're in survival mode – which we often are during major life changes – our nervous system isn't wired to think expansively.

It’s wired to protect you.

But as these clients began to challenge limiting beliefs, recognize and reconnect with their strengths, and shift their narrative – their energy shifted too.

Instead of “This is all I’ve ever done, so it’s all I’ll ever be able to do.”

They began to say: "My experience has prepared me for so much more than I realized." And, "I'm excited to explore different possibilities I wasn't even considering before."

They moved from panic to purpose. From scarcity to expansion.

And the difference wasn’t just in their words.

It was in their posture, their energy, and their confidence.

How I Started Noticing the Shift

This idea – distinguishing inspiration from desperation – didn’t start with a coaching session or a leadership book.

It started with my own healing.

I began working with my current therapist, Kellie Caroselli (hi, Kellie!), in late 2019.

Since then, she has helped me through some of the most impactful experiences of my life, and we’ve built a relationship that feels open, safe, and genuinely supportive.

During one session, after nearly six months of EMDR therapy, we were discussing an important decision I was trying to make around my job.

Every time I thought about it, I felt a knot in my stomach. An energy I now lovingly compare to the aftermath of too much Taco Bell.

I was convinced I knew what decision had to be made, but I hated how it made me feel.

As we talked through it, Kellie helped me shift my focus.

Instead of obsessing over the impact my decision would have on others (my previous default-setting), she gently encouraged me toward a different question: What impact did I want this decision to have on my own life?

That’s when it happened.

Sitting there on the comfy couch with the decorative turquoise pillows, I noticed it. The energy moved just a few inches higher – from my stomach to my chest.

Inspiration had officially entered the chat.

And almost immediately, I knew what decision I needed to make.

Fear and desperation were replaced by confident inspiration. And the decision to stay put – to keep myself small – was replaced by one of the best decisions of my life: to leave and embrace who I was always meant to become.

Since that day, that subtle shift has become one of my truest compasses.

Noticing where the energy sits in my body helps me recognize whether I’m being pulled by panic or toward possibility.

It may be subtle – but its impact is incredibly powerful.

How Your Body and Brain Respond

This shift isn't just philosophical – it’s truly physiological.

Desperation triggers survival mode.

Your amygdala fires up. Stress hormones like cortisol flood your system. Your body tightens, your thinking narrows, and your decision-making becomes reactive.

Inspiration, on the other hand, taps into expansion mode.

Positive emotions activate the brain's reward pathways, and studies show that emotions like curiosity and optimism expand our cognitive flexibility, creativity, and resilience (Fredrickson, 2004, "The Broaden-and-Build Theory of Positive Emotions").

So how do you learn to notice the difference?

Practice.

Research out of Harvard shows that mindfulness physically strengthens the insula, which is the part of the brain responsible for your ability to sense internal bodily changes. (Hölzel et al., 2011)

In layman's terms? The more you practice tuning into how you are feeling, the easier it becomes to recognize when you’re being pulled by fear – or fueled by purpose.

A Simple Practice: Notice Before You Choose

Before you make your next decision – big or small – try the following:

1. Pause and take a deep breath.

2. Notice where in your body you feel the energy and what it feels like.

3. Reflect on when you have felt this way before, and the outcome of leading with that energy.

If you feel inspiration is leading the way, step forward with confidence. But if you feel that desperation may be in the driver's seat, perhaps take a beat before committing.

Please remember you don’t have to have it all figured out, and you certainly don't have to try and force inspiration where there is none.

You’re just learning to notice.

Because with practice, noticing becomes knowing.

And that knowing becomes trust.

Final Thoughts

Choosing purpose over panic isn't always easy, especially in a world that's constantly trying to convince us that we need to do more, achieve more, and be more.

But the truth is: inspiration comes by connecting with who you are, as you are, where you are.

You are capable of building a life – and a career – rooted in purpose, alignment, and authentic strength.

So before your next big move, please just take a breath.

Tune in and notice: does this feel like desperation...or inspiration?

You already have the wisdom within you.

You just have to learn to listen.

You've got this.

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When you're ready to relegate fear and desperation to the backseat, I'd be honored to support you along the journey toward purpose and inspiration. Schedule your first coaching session today!