Personal Growth 101: Begin with You (Green Juice Not Required)

Back when I was in college, I had the fortune of studying under the late, great Judith Kellock – who almost exclusively went by JK. She was the head of Cornell’s vocal department and easily one of the most disciplined humans I have ever met.

During one of my vocal lessons, I asked if we could pause for a few minutes so I could really think about what she was trying to teach me.

“Oh, John!” she exclaimed. “Sometimes you cannot analyze or intellectualize your way to the answer – you simply have to experience it. So stop thinking about it so much, listen to what I’m telling you, and feel it!" And after a brief pause to calm herself, "Now take a deep breath and sing.”

Although slightly mortified in the moment, she was right. I couldn't think or research my way to the technique: I simply had to learn how to feel it, and practice until it became the norm.

To be honest, that conversation has stayed with me for years. In fact, it has become a sort of compass, helping me recognize when I’m hiding behind over-analysis instead of leaning into the power of experiential growth.

So for anyone reading this who maybe even started today with that same thinking: "Let me just do a bit more research on this whole personal growth idea, and then I'm sure I'll get it." Please know you're not alone.

But please also know there is no such thing as reading or listening your way into the life you want. You must feel, experience, and carefully cultivate it one beautiful step at a time.

So let's start with what personal growth looks and feels like.

But first....some myth-busting!

Personal Growth Myths

Before we dive in, let’s clear the air around some common myths that I personally struggled with for years and that the majority of my clients raise at some point during our work together.

1. Myth #1: Growth is a one-size fits all experience.

   1. If you’re not up at 5 a.m., journaling in cursive, and doing hot yoga before your green smoothie – can you even be growing?! Yes. Yes, you can. Because personal growth doesn’t follow one script and is not one-size-fits-all.

   2. Try this instead: Growth looks different for everyone. Rather than replicating someone else's IG or TikTok routine, focus on what supports your energy, peace, clarity, and joy.

2. Myth #2: You have to be crushing corporate goals to be progressing.

   1. Listen, climbing the ladder can be great for certain people, but it's not necessary for everyone. Setting boundaries, recovering from burnout, creating space for the hobbies you love, and learning to simply speak up for yourself more confidently can be equally as meaningful and satisfying.

   2. Try this instead: Redefine success on your own terms. Small steps toward being more present, grounded in your values, or intentional with your time count just as much as your professional title or salary – regardless of what your manager or CEO keeps telling you.

3. Myth #3: If you understand it, you’ve nailed it.

   1. Nope! As JK reminded me (and nearly every sports commentator exemplifies), knowing something intellectually isn’t the same as embodying it. Real growth asks us to live and experience it, not just label or understand it theoretically.

   2. Try this instead: Give yourself time and space to practice what you learn. Awareness is the first step; thoughtful practice is what transforms us. Make it as small as you need, as long as you begin to thoughtfully and intentionally practice.

4. Myth #4: Growth means becoming someone new.

   1. This one’s tricky. We often think to become the best version of ourselves, we must change who we are to fit the mold or appeal to others (cue my life story for a solid decade). As Brené Brown might say: we confused fitting in with belonging. When really, the best growth is grounded in our core values and builds upon our signature strengths and unique perspectives.

   2. Try this instead: Look inward before you look outward, allowing growth be a process of remembering and reconnecting, rather than reinventing. You’re not becoming someone else – you’re learning to prioritize and step more fully into the best of you.

So, What Is Personal Growth?

Personal growth is the process of becoming more aligned – with our values, our strengths, our purpose, and our actual lives.

It’s about identifying the gap between who we’ve been taught to be and who we actually are. Then, slowly but surely, narrowing that gap.

Sometimes that looks like big, bold moves. Other times, it’s choosing to rest instead of power through, to speak up instead of stay quiet, or to take a breath before replying to that very frustrating email.

James Clear – author of Atomic Habits – says, “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”

I have to admit that I love the life I’m currently living. I am coaching, consulting, reading, researching, writing, while finding time to garden, connect more with my family, my dogs, and with nature.

And yet – I still have to regularly check in, take stock, and ensure I haven’t gotten too misaligned in any one area. The more I practice, the more meaning, peace, and joy I experience.

And it’s worth it. According to a LifePath survey, 85% of people who actively pursue personal growth report feeling more satisfied with their lives.

That’s not fluff or "foo foo science" as a former colleague claimed.

That’s called results.

Meaningful Ways to Begin

As we start this journey together, I’d love to invite you to try the following practices in the coming days (or right in this moment if you can spare a few minutes).

Consider them small steps toward cultivating purpose-driven resilience in your own life.

1. Get clear on your values and strengths. One of the hardest ways to become the best version of ourselves is by trying to grow without knowing what matters most OR by trying to grow into what someone else wants us to be. Clarity is our friend here, so consider one of these options:

   1. Take the VIA Signature Strengths Assessment to learn more about your core strengths. VIA simply means "values in action," and these help to provide you insight into where you naturally shine. Research shows that leading with your strengths is far more effective than focusing on areas of development.

   2. Explore your values using Brené Brown’s online values assessment. This allows you to learn or reconnect with the values that matter to you most, so that you can refocus your goals, your choices, and your energy with intention.

2. Reflect with intention. You cannot know where to lean in or where to pivot if you are not clear and honest with yourself about how you are spending your time and how those activities align with your values. As a dear friend regular reminded me for years: you can lie to the world, but never lie to yourself. So carve out some time to consider and write out your answers to the following questions:

   • When do I feel most aligned with my values or strengths?

   • Where in my life do I feel least aligned with my values or strengths?

   • What parts of my life feel like they are on autopilot?

   • What’s one small area where I can better integrate my values and strengths?

   • What’s one tangible thing I can do this week to move in that direction?

If you started this article with the same mindset JK observed in me 15-years ago, please give yourself permission in this moment to move beyond thinking and into action. Through just a few minutes of honest, thoughtful practice, you can begin to experience clarity today.

Final Thoughts

You do not need a guru, a glow-up, or a green juice to start this work.

What you need is already in you – a willingness to listen, to stay curious, and to take one honest, courageous step at a time.

And please remember: personal growth rarely starts with a giant leap. It starts with a single step. And sometimes, that step is just the decision to pause, check in, and reflect on what you are doing and how it feels.

So here’s to that first step! Here's to becoming more of who we already are. Here’s to growth – real, messy, meaningful growth.

Step two is coming soon, where we’ll dig into how to set goals that actually make you feel more alive, not more exhausted.

You've got this!

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If you'd like to explore personalized coaching support to help you along the journey, I would love to walk alongside you. Schedule your first coaching session today!