Praying for Patience: What My Dad Got Right (and Wrong)

When I was growing up, my dad had a favorite warning:“Be careful what you pray for – you might actually get it.”

His go-to example? Patience.

He’d say: “People pray for patience, and suddenly they hit every red light, get stuck with the chatty relative on the phone, or end up in line at the grocery store behind someone counting out pennies for exact change. Because patience isn’t just granted to us. It’s practiced and developed – more often than not, while we sit in the places we least want to be.”

I may not have always appreciated his insights or wisdom growing up. But years later, I found myself recognizing more and more how true – and powerful – this message really was.

Because he was right. Patience doesn’t arrive as a gift-wrapped virtue; it arrives as a choice. A sort-of muscle we build in the very moments we’d rather run, escape, or be anywhere else but where we are.

Patience Isn’t Instant

We live in a world that doesn’t exactly reward waiting. Same-day delivery. Instant downloads. Meals that (claim to) arrive at your door in under 30-minutes.

The message is clear: faster is better. Delayed gratification? A think of the past.

But patience doesn’t work that way. It’s not an app we can simply install – it’s a practice we cultivate. And continue to cultivate.

And more often than not, it's shaped in the small, inconvenient pauses we resist:

• The traffic jam.

• The delayed Zoom start.

• The kid (or colleague) who needs your attention the very moment when you’re rushing to finish an already-late email.

The gift of those moments – if we allow them to be gifts – is that they invite us to be more present, and in doing so, to gain a bit of perspective.

The Science of Slowing Down

Researchers define patience as the ability to stay calm in the face of frustration, adversity, or delay. And unsurprisingly, it’s closely tied to resilience, self-regulation, and even compassion.

Here’s what studies show:

• Patience supports mental health. People who describe themselves as more patient report fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety, along with greater life satisfaction – or the feeling of presence, purpose, and meaningful impact.

• Patience improves relationships. When we practice patience, we’re more likely to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively, creating stronger, more trusting and supportive relationships.

• Patience strengthens resilience. It allows us to tolerate discomfort, regulate stress, and recover more quickly from setbacks. Life may not always be fair or rainbows and sunshine, but cultivating patience allows us to weather the storms more effectively to grow through them and begin thriving more quickly.

In other words, patience isn’t passive. It’s proactive.

It's a skill that builds the kind of resilience we desperately need in a culture of constant speed and instant gratification.

5 Ways to Cultivate Patience in Everyday Life

1. Breathe Before You React

   1. A former therapist once taught me this practice, and it’s one I return to often: when frustration rises, pause for a single deep breath before responding. Our physiological response usually comes first – tight shoulders, racing heart, clenched jaw. Addressing the body first helps us interrupt that stress loop. Once we feel even slightly more relaxed, we can think more clearly, choose our words more carefully, and handle the moment with more presence.

2. Challenge Our Internal Messaging

   1. Often it’s not the situation itself that creates the strongest reaction – it’s the story we tell ourselves about it. A long line feels unbearable when we think, "This is ruining my whole day!" But is it? When those thoughts arise, simply challenge them in real time. How much will this delay really impact you — in an hour, a week, or a month? Chances are, the perceived frustration is much larger than the reality. By challenging the mental exaggeration, you invite calm back into the moment.

3. Take Accountability for Your Experience

   1. Impatience isn’t just caused by what’s happening around us – it’s also shaped by how we engage with it. Reaching for our phones at every pause, expecting overnight shipping for everything, or demanding instant responses all feed the cycle. Instead, look for small opportunities to slow down: choose standard shipping and let anticipation build, breathe deeply while you're waiting for your lunch to reheat, or step outside for a moment between tasks. These pauses are not wasted time – they’re mini resets that build resilience.

4. Shift to Empathy

   1. When someone is testing your patience, flip the perspective. Ask yourself: If I were in their shoes, how would I feel? How would I want to be treated? Maybe you’d hope to feel supported, welcome, or understood – most certainly not rushed or dismissed. Empathy doesn’t excuse poor behavior, but it softens our reactivity. It reminds us that the person in front of us is human too, and they're often navigating as much stress, distraction, or fear as we are.

5. Find the Fun

   1. What if, instead of labeling every delay as “bad,” you looked for the humor in it? Maybe the irony of catching every red light is funny if you let it be – maybe it's an opportunity to pretend you're racing the pedestrians on the sidewalk. Maybe standing in line is a chance to people-watch or notice something playful in your surroundings. Or maybe it’s simply a moment to be grateful – that you have a car to drive, a grocery store to shop in, or even just a few extra minutes to yourself. By shifting into gratitude or playfulness, you transform an annoyance into an opportunity. And in the end – life doesn't always need to be so serious.

Final Reflection

My dad wasn’t wrong: patience isn’t granted. It’s practiced – often in the very moments that make us want to scream or pull our hair out.

But here’s what he didn’t always emphasize: practicing patience isn’t just about surviving delays.

It’s about shaping who we become.

Patience cultivates presence. Presence builds resilience. And resilience allows us to move through life with more steadiness, more compassion, and if we allow it – more joy.

So I’ll leave you with this question:

Where in your life are you being invited to slow down and practice patience right now?

Maybe you prayed for it – maybe you didn't. But either way, why not settle in and make the most of it?

You've got this.