The Practice That Saved My Life

It actually started as a homework assignment for my first positive psychology class.

We were asked to implement one positive intervention into our routines for a full week, reflecting on any differences we were noticing. Gratitude journaling was the most popular choice – something many people found both accessible and meaningful.

For me however, I felt a bit of ... panic.

Over the past year, I had tried gratitude journaling in a few different formats, but I couldn't seem to experience the benefits. Did I feel grateful for my mom, for a good cup of coffee, and for my warm bed? Yes. But trying to find new things every single day was a struggle. My brain seemed overwhelmed by how much of my situation I was deeply ungrateful for.

So I decided to go in a different direction: highlights of the day reflections, captured just before bed. Impressed by the research into how effective the practice was, I honestly didn't think much of it beyond the assignment. I would simply note a couple of moments from the day that stood out to me and why they stood out.

My first reflection:

"My homemade latte this morning hit the spot – it tasted so good, and it was perfectly hot on the cold, rainy drive."

Far from groundbreaking, but it was a start. And within a few days, I woke up confused: I didn't feel the same level of anxiety and overwhelm as I'd grown used to.

Over the previous year, I had found myself deep into burnout. I was depleted, growing increasingly cynical and pessimistic, struggling to sleep, and wrestling with an overwhelming fear I was trapped in a life I never could have planned for myself.

But within just two weeks of these reflections, I felt like a different person was emerging. Or – more accurately – I began to feel like myself again. In little moments, but still.

I was sleeping more restfully and waking up with more energy. My creativity started returning, and I felt far less easily agitated – even by my most aggravating coworkers. And perhaps most meaningfully, I began experiencing the good throughout my day.

My morning coffees began to feel like a literal mood booster. I felt a flutter of excitement and wonder when a colorful butterfly somehow made its way to the window beside my 24th floor office desk. My breath would still and my jaw drop when I witnessed the remarkably beautiful, clear colors of a central Texas sunset on my drive home. A moment that previously signaled another full day "wasted" in the office was transformed into an opportunity to experience awe.

What started as a simple week-long assignment became a life-saving habit. One I continued consistently for the next two years.

Why This Works Even When Gratitude Doesn't

Here's something worth understanding about our brains: we have quite the negativity bias.

Our nervous systems evolved to prioritize threat mitigation. It scans for what's wrong, remembers the challenges more vividly than the good, and tries its best to keep us safe. And in a world that actively amplifies that negativity – through news, social media, and the relentless pace of modern life – our bias gets practiced and reinforced dozens of times a day.

Gratitude practices ask us to counter that directly. To focus on what we are thankful for regularly enough that our brain begins to notice and appreciate them on a deeper level. But for many people, especially those navigating chronic stress and burnout, it can be difficult to access gratitude amidst the depletion and cynicism.

As a result, it doesn't take much for that task to turn to shame: one more example of our inefficacy.

The highlight reflection is different.

It doesn't ask you to feel anything in particular. It simply asks you to notice. To scan back through your day for the single moment that stood out. The one that had any quality of warmth, interest, peace, connection, or beauty, however brief.

Research in positive psychology shows that this kind of intentional reflection before sleep shifts what the brain consolidates overnight. It trains our attention – not toward toxic positivity, but toward a more complete and honest picture of our life experience. One that doesn't discredit the struggles, but one that appreciates the good along the same journey.

It's not about becoming an optimist. It's about taking back the narrative of your own experience.

The Moment My First Journal Was Born

About a year into my own practice, I was in a coaching class – The Positive Psychology of Coaching – and we were discussing positive interventions that we or our clients had found genuinely useful.

After the class collectively gushed over the effects of gratitude reflections, I decided to raise my hand and share my experience.

I was honest about my burnout and the shame I felt trying to cultivate gratitude during that time. I talked about the gratitude journaling that hadn't worked, and the highlight reflection that had.

The truth was, I actually had been able to generate a deep level of gratitude since I had started the reflections – it just took a different approach and consistent practice for me to do so. I felt it was important that we as coaches considered that our clients could very well be coming into a session feeling similarly walled off from their own thankfulness.

When my share ended, my inbox unexpectedly filled with messages. People thanking me for speaking openly, naming an experience that they misbelieved was uniquely their own – one that carried a lot of shame and kept them from talking about it. They asked for me to share more on the reflection practice, so they could try it and begin to experience some of the relief gratitude journaling wasn't yet providing them.

After class, I blocked an hour in my calendar for the following morning:

"Outline a highlight of the day journal – start with your story."

Over the next month, The Highlight of My Day Journal was born.

What The Journal is For

The Highlight of My Day Journal was designed for the person who feels like there might not be anything worth writing about.

For the person whose negativity and cynicism have started to feel more like home than who they actually are.

For the person who is exhausted, overwhelmed, and running low on hope that anything small could actually make a difference.

I know that person, because I was that person.

And I know that one small, honest reflection at the end of a hard day – however unglamorous it may seem – begins to bring you back to yourself. Not all at once. But in little moments over time.

You just need one moment. One honest answer to a simple question at the end of a hard day.

What was the best part of today – and why?

Start there. Write it down. And give your brain something worth holding onto while you sleep.

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The Highlight of My Day Journal is available on Amazon. And if you'd like support building practices like this one into your own burnout recovery, I'd love to connect. Schedule a coaching session today.