The Importance of Setting Boundaries in Leadership

John C
May 24
4 min read

Updated: Oct 3

Understanding Resilient Leadership

This last week, I had the opportunity to facilitate a lunch-and-learn on resilient leadership for dozens of managers. The energy in the room was palpable, a clear sign of the topic's importance.

As we explored the myth that constant availability is a sign of dedication, one message came through the chat that brought an immediate smile to my face: "I've never felt more seen by a single slide in my life."

When we opened the session for questions, one clear theme emerged: boundaries.

It was not a question of "Do they really matter?" or "Are they even realistic?" No one was debating the need for boundaries. What they were asking was this: "How do we communicate and respect boundaries without sounding rude, selfish, or triggering a five-alarm panic?"

What a fantastic question.

In a world of constant notifications, digital overload, and the illusion that everyone should be accessible all the time, many of us struggle with boundary-setting. Yet, there is hope in finding solutions.

Failed Boundaries

Immediately following the training, my husband and I decided to enjoy lunch at Honest Mary's and take a break from our screens. As we sat at our table, I overheard someone next to us passionately discussing a strategy I had just included in my presentation: the protected hour. This is a time blocked for uninterrupted, deep-focus work. However, his take on it was less favorable.

"I mean, it was great at first. But just because you need to focus, my entire day has to be impacted? I mean, c'mon – what if I have an important question?"

Alert the presses: a man has a question.

It’s called a protected hour for a reason, not a protected day or week. Why do we continue to expect everyone should be available to us at all times? It's not collaborative; rather, it feels chaotic.

The next day, a friend called to share a story about a recent disagreement with her roommate. Her roommate admitted that she struggles to communicate her boundaries for fear of how they will be perceived. Instead of expressing her needs, she ends up overwhelmed with burnout or resentment.

She overreacts to minor inconveniences or treats her friends dismissively, expecting them to read her mind.

Does this sound familiar?

Whether at work, in relationships, or throughout life, boundary-setting is challenging. However, not having them makes everything considerably harder.

The Science Behind Boundaries

Here’s the thing: boundaries aren’t just helpful; they’re essential for our mental well-being.

According to Dr. Amishi Jha, a neuroscientist and attention researcher, attention is a limited resource. When we are constantly interrupted or accessible, we deplete our cognitive capacity. This can weaken our working memory and hinder our decision-making abilities.

In my resilient leadership sessions, I explain that multitasking and chronic busyness can reduce productivity by up to 40%. Moreover, chronic stress can impair your prefrontal cortex, hijack your focus, and inflate even minor issues into existential crises.

The takeaway? Constant availability doesn’t make you a better teammate. It makes you less effective, more reactive, and ultimately… exhausted, cranky, and potentially taking your frustrations out on the innocent barista.

Communicating Boundaries (Without Burning Bridges)

So, how do we effectively communicate professional boundaries? Here are a few evidence-based and empathy-driven approaches you can try when you need time to focus, reprioritize, or even just rest:

Reframe Boundaries as Respect:
You’re not setting boundaries because you don’t care – you’re setting them because you do. It’s about showing up at your best rather than burning out in silence. By doing so, you begin to exemplify dedication to high-quality work, rather than exemplifying depletion. This will feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it becomes a transformative skill.

Use Clear Language, Not Apologies:
Instead of: “Sorry, I just need some time to get through this…”
Try: “I’m taking an hour this afternoon for focused work. I’ll be available after 2 pm and happy to connect with you then on anything that comes up.”
Clear communication is kind, while apologizing can confuse and signal that you are doing something wrong.

Explain the Why (When It Helps):
People are more likely to respect our boundaries when they understand the purpose behind them. If you want, add some solid data to your "away" message.
Try: “Blocking time for uninterrupted focus helps me to be more thoughtful and proactive. I've noticed that I produce higher quality, better work. I love opportunities to work smarter.”

Make It Mutual:
When leading a team or collaborating with others, it can be beneficial to communicate and coordinate boundaries. This ensures everyone is supported while fostering a culture of high-quality, innovative work.
Try: “I will be taking an hour this afternoon for focused work beginning at 1 pm, during which time I will be largely unavailable. Let me know when you would like to carve out some time for yourself, so I can handle anything that comes through and help you honor it.”
This approach helps everyone experience the benefit of boundaries. You’re no longer perceived as selfish, because you’ve included them in the journey.

Final Thoughts

Let’s be honest: boundaries are rarely easy, especially when we are wired to care, help, and be available.

However, setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re selfish; it means you’re respectful. You're choosing sustainable impact over short-term appeasement, and that really matters.

Take a deep breath. Where in your life or work could you use a bit more clarity and less accessibility?

If just thinking about communicating that boundary makes you want to crawl under a desk, you’re not alone. But you are capable.

Because boundaries aren’t barriers; they’re bridges to something better. They allow us to honor our energy, protect our purpose, and create space to lead (and live) with more clarity and intention.

You've got this!

If your life could use some boundary-setting, but you're not quite sure how to approach it? I would love to support you on this journey. Schedule your first coaching session today!