Resilient Leadership: You're not Failing - You're Stressed

If you are alive in 2025, it is likely you’re feeling exhausted, foggy, snappy, or maybe even numb these days – at work and at home.

But I promise you: that doesn’t mean you’re broken.

It means your brain is responding to the world we are all living in – one that rarely slows down, is highly unpredictable, and asks more of us than we feel equipped to give.

Regardless of whether you’re in any kind of leadership role – or just holding a lot on your shoulders – that pressure doesn’t just weigh on you emotionally. It changes how you think, how you feel, and how you show up.

And the worst part? When that shift happens and we speak up, most of us don’t get more support. We get told to “push through,” “stay strong,” or “be grateful we have jobs at all.”

But what if success and resilience aren't about pushing harder or sacrificing more?

What if they're about understanding what is happening in your body – and choosing a different way forward?

Chronic Stress isn't Just a Challenge - It's a System Overload

For those who were taught that stress was just part of life – a challenge that everyone must learn to deal with? Well, that's wrong. Scientifically. It's also holding you back from being your best.

Chronic stress literally rewires your brain. Here’s what’s happening under the surface:

• Your prefrontal cortex (the part that helps you think clearly, make decisions, and regulate emotions) can lose up to 40% of its function.

• Your amygdala (fight/flight) becomes overactive, making you more reactive, less rational, and convinced nearly everything is a direct threat.

• Your hippocampus (memory + learning) struggles to store new information, which is why your brain feels scattered and nothing sticks.

So when you find yourself zoning out, snapping at people, writing overly aggressive emails, or just shutting down...you may not actually be bad at your job.

You're probably not “too emotional.” You’re probably not lazy or disorganized. You’re more than likely experiencing chronic stress.

And your brain is doing exactly what it’s designed to do when it experiences chronic stress.

So now it's time to start listening to what its telling you.

The Moment that Shifted My Perspective

In a previous role, I was drowning. Full stop.

I was fully carrying the responsibilities of two jobs – similar to so many people today – while trying to stay afloat in an environment that rewarded burnout and called it dedication.

I was working an unhealthy number of hours. Skipping meals. Ignoring rest. Watching my health and my marriage fall apart in the background.

So when a senior manager said in a team meeting that her “door was always open” and that she wanted everyone to be thriving… I decided to speak up. I asked for help. I was honest.

What I received in return though, was not help. It was little more than a shoulder shrug.

“Teams are lean right now. Resources are tight. We’re all in the same boat.”

Translation: It’s not really my problem.

That was one of the clearest moments in which I realized leadership was not equivalent to seniority. And that – if I wanted anything to change – I would need to stop waiting for someone else to lead and start acting like a leader myself.

The answer, thankfully, came from my therapist the following week.

“John, you’re not failing. You’re just tired. You keep pushing to do more, but…what might it look like to try doing less?”

And so began the shift. Not a quick fix by any stretch of the imagination.

But the start of a new way of thinking about my choice...My power.

Reclaiming My Power

One of the first things I tried was what some refer to as The Protected Hour.

Every day, I schedule one uninterrupted hour of quiet, focused time.

No meetings. No emails. No pretending I can multitask (something I could barely pretend to do as it was).

Just one hour of space to think clearly, breathe deeply, and work on something that mattered.

And listen – I know for many of us, our calendars sometimes look like an old-school Tetris board with a personal vendetta against breaks.

So let me say: The Protected Half Hour is absolutely acceptable.

The point is not perfection – it’s intention.

Block it. Defend it. Add it on your calendar like a meeting. Set your chat status to Do Not Disturb. And treat it like most sacred (half) hour of your day.

The real power of this practice isn’t just in getting more done – although you certainly will do that too. Research in neuroscience shows that busyness and multitasking drop efficiency by 40% and significantly reduce executive functioning skills.

The real power is in reclaiming your power, your ability to choose, and your energy.

It’s in choosing to be your best self despite what senior managers exemplify.

Resilient leadership isn’t a job description – it’s a mindset.

And it starts with small acts of self-respect that remind your nervous system: I am not powerless here. I get to choose.

Leadership in Action

The Protected (Half) Hour is just one of countless first steps you can take to begin embodying leadership for yourself.

But if this specific practice doesn't speak to you, that is completely fine. Just try something.

Here are a couple alternative options to consider, and please – never hesitate to research options for yourself.

• The Wrap-Up Ritual: Dedicate 5-10 mins following each of your meetings to take notes, reflect, or simply catch your breath. Consider updating your standing 30-minute meetings to 25, and your 60-minutes to 50. Bonus points for blocking the last 15-30 minutes of your day to reflect on the day as a whole, and capturing top priorities for the next day.

• The Holistic OOO: Many of us struggle to disconnect during our vacation and/or personal time. To better protect this space, begin to respect your time away and exemplify its importance to your entire team by updating your auto-replies to include the names and contact details for those who should cover your responsibilities while away. Notify these individuals beforehand, so there are no surprises. Then TRUST YOUR COLLEAGUES. They may not all be competent, but that is not your responsibility to solve right now. ;)

Final Thoughts

Please remember that you are – first and foremost – human.

And being human means you will have limits. You will get tired. You will feel overwhelmed.

But being human also means you have choices, and none of that disqualifies you from being a powerful, grounded, resilient leader exactly where you are.

In fact, it’s often the awareness of your limits – not the denial of them – that marks the beginning of true leadership.

So please take a quick moment and ask yourself: What is one small step I can take this week to support myself?

What might shift if you stopped trying to prove yourself and started to choose yourself instead?

Remember: resilient leadership isn’t about perfection. It’s about intention.

And your next small step is enough.

You’ve got this.

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If you're tired of being tired and you've had enough, you don't have to go it alone. Let's reclaim your time together and return you to a life of strength, confidence, and resilience. Schedule your first coaching session today!