Collaborative Leadership - It's Not About You

Let’s get this out of the way: leadership is not a solo act. It’s not a TED Talk. It’s not the CEO’s origin story told dramatically over a PowerPoint deck.

And it’s definitely not about who talks the longest in a meeting.

Yet here we are – organizations spending way too much time catering to the egos of senior leaders instead of choosing to conduct good business.

We've created entire rituals around C-suite theatrics while sidelining the people who are actually closest to the issues. The people who – as it turns out – have the best ideas.

So here's the data: 70% of new ideas come from the lower levels of the org chart – the front-liners who are waist-deep in the actual work. Not senior management, but the people dealing with the clients, the tech, the glitches, the process breakdowns, and the "why do we even do it this way?" questions.

And yet, the decision-making often happens far removed from the reality of the work, in invitation-only boardrooms, with the door shut, and a whiteboard covered with nothing more than the same company goals from 3-years ago (that have unlikely changed much).

The Ego Trap

What’s holding us back? Ego, mostly.

Leaders are conditioned – often unintentionally – to believe their role is to have all the answers. When people come to us with questions, it is only natural to feel that we must have the answers.

But in reality, great leadership isn’t about having all the answers.

It’s about being honest with yourself and your team when your knowledge, expertise, or even confidence in the best path forward is lacking.

It's also about asking and inviting good questions from the right people, grounded in curiosity and an open mindset.

When we elevate a singular leader over a team’s collective capability, we get shallow wins, bad strategy, and that uncomfortable shift of blame when things don't work out as planned.

Not to mention the mental and emotional toll this takes on the leader, doing all they can to mask the fact they are – spoiler alert – human.

But what exactly happens when we acknowledge our limitations and embrace the collective?

Enter: Collaborative Leadership

Collaborative leadership flips the script. It says: leadership isn't about me – it's about us.

It’s the practice of engaging teams through open-ended questions, shared problem solving, group brainstorming, and genuinely empowered action.

Co-Active Coaching (Kimsey-House et al.) is a great book that outlines this beautifully. It defines leadership not as a top-down force, but as a shared energy.

The responsibility of the leader isn’t to control the conversation – it’s to spark it. To guide without needing to micromanage. To listen more than speak.

It’s about holding space for what the team knows rather than hoarding the spotlight.

Brené Brown has, of course, been preaching this for years. Vulnerability in leadership is a strength, not the weakness we have been raised to believe.

Her research shows that when leaders open up to input, own their humanity, and invite others into the process, engagement and trust skyrocket.

According to Gallup, highly engaged teams show 21% greater profitability. It's almost as though employees are more engaged when they feel heard, respected, and involved in decision-making...

My "It's Not about Me" Moment

In my previous role, I worked closely with a senior manager who was...difficult. To put it mildly.

Stubborn, pretentious, and notorious for requesting the same data several times in several different formats...and then presenting it entirely as his own.

The number of days I had to laugh to keep from screaming!

But when I was introduced to the concept of collaborative leadership, I decided I wanted to take a different approach to working with him.

I had been tasked with designing a new year-end promotion process for one of our business lines, leveraging my experience and feedback collected from participants throughout the previous few years. This senior manager was technically assigned as the chair of the process, despite doing none of the work or attending any of its meetings the previous year.

So when we met to discuss the new format, I recognized an opportunity.

Rather than trying prove myself or the fact that my ideas were worth listening to, I decided to respond as often as possible with mostly open-ended questions.

"What do you feel are the biggest pain-points with the current process?"

"How could you see that working more effectively next year?"

"If we were to take that path, how do you feel nominating managers may react?"

The result? Not only were all of my suggestions approved, but we identified several other opportunities for efficiency that I had never considered as real possibilities.

Of course, he swiftly relayed all of these ideas to the Business Head and received 100% of the recognition and credit. But far more importantly: we were able to significantly improve the process format and flow, improving the participant experience and significantly reducing bias.

By letting go of my own ego and actively engaging in a collaborative leadership, the best ideas were given the space to shine.

Collaborative Leadership In Action

• Leverage what/how instead of why. While why questions can often feel accusatory and put people on the defensive, how/what questions invite honest sharing and collaborative exploration. This not only helps employees feel safer and more understood, it also provides deeper insights into the motivations, pressures, and decision-making processes of the team.

• Lead group brainstorming. Rather than allowing the loudest on the team push their ideas to the forefront of each meeting, embrace your role as the "social architect" responsible for cultivating idea-sharing and diverse perspectives (Linda Hall - HBS). Give people notice - most often the best ideas we have don't come up when immediately asked - and consider alternative means of collecting ideas from the team (post-its, reflective silence, or anonymous submissions) that help the best ideas float to the surface.

• Relinquish your need for control. In short – empower your team so that the process experts can drive decisions without constantly having to escalate. Research shows that every management level a decision has to climb adds delay, cost, and risk, leading to poorer final decisions and wasted resources.

It’s not fluffy. It’s not idealistic. It’s just good business.

Final Thoughts

Good leadership isn’t about being the smartest person in the room. It’s about creating a room where smartest ideas can thrive – especially from the people closest to the work.

So, let’s stop treating leadership like a solo performance and start treating it like what it is: a team effort.

The best ideas don’t always need a podium.

They just need a leader willing to respect them.

So in the days ahead, I encourage you to look for opportunities to practice collaborative leadership. It may not be perfect, and that's ok!

It's a step in the right direction.

And who knows what beautiful ideas may be hiding patiently beneath the surface.

You've got this!

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If you're ready to begin honing your collaborative leadership skills, I'd be honored to support you along the journey. Schedule your first coaching session today!