Personal Growth 101: Getting GOOPed (Goals That Actually Mean Something)

A few months ago, a client told me she wanted to “work out every day, eat clean, be in nature, go on walks – basically just live my best influencer life.”

We laughed, but I could tell she was serious.

And as we discussed further, we discovered that underneath the influencer aspirations was a genuine desire: to feel good in her body – energized, grounded, and present – and to experience deeper peace and joy.

So we worked together to define what that really meant for her. What did she hope to feel, gain, and experience by living this life? What was in her control? And what routines, mindsets, and supports would help her to build that life (even if it looked less like Instagram and more like her own backyard)?

The shift wasn’t about becoming someone else. It was about reclaiming what was already inside her.

Many of us approach goals based on perception, status, or even what we see on social media. We write out our new year resolutions like, "be promoted" or "find happiness," and then struggle for the next several months on how exactly to even do that.

What’s a goal you’ve set recently that looked good on paper, but didn’t leave you feeling fulfilled?

Because the fact is that most of us were taught that goals and aspirations were the same – that the destination was good enough, even without a plan to get there or clarity on why we want it to begin with.

But meaningful goals don't come from following someone else’s dream or formula. They start with one powerful question: What matters most to you?

The Science of Goal-Setting: What Actually Works

Positive psychology offers us a few key insights:

1. Intrinsic motivation matters. Research by Doctors Martin Seligman, Edward Deci, and Richard Ryan has shown that when our goals are intrinsically motivated — meaning they align with our values and give us a sense of purpose and meaning — we're more likely to stay engaged and feel fulfilled, especially when things get tough.

2. Optimism + realism = better results. Gabrielle Oettingen’s research emphasizes that visualizing success, although helpful, isn’t enough on its own. When we also identify potential obstacles and outline a plan to overcome them, we significantly increase our likelihood of follow-through.

3. Neuroplasticity supports change. Despite what we thought for decades, our brains aren't set in stone once we reach adulthood. They're more like gardens: every thought you think and every action you take is like planting a seed. With intentionality, repetition, and reinforcement, those seeds grow into well-worn pathways — habits, routines, and even new perspectives that support your goals (and values!).

Each time we show up with intention, we lay another brick in the pathway of possibility. That’s not just poetic, it’s neurological.

Dr. Angela Duckworth’s work on grit further reinforces that meaningful change is less about genius and more about perseverance, passion, and a willingness to keep showing up, especially when it’s hard.

“Meaningful goals aren’t about fixing who you are. They’re about becoming more of who you already are — with a little more clarity, courage, and compassion.”

GOOP Goals: A Quick Refresher

As previously noted, the below GOOP Model below is adapted from Dr. Gabriele Oettingen’s goal-setting framework. Her research-backed method proved that individuals are far more likely to achieve their goals when they take time to both visualize what success will provide and prepare for potential obstacles that may arise along the way.  

So what exactly is the GOOP Model? GOOP stands for:

• Goal: Specific, values-aligned, and within your control

• Opportunity: The why — what pursuing this goal opens up for you

• Obstacle: The likely challenge(s) that could get in your way

• Plan: What you’ll do to navigate those challenges when they come

And since most of us learn best when we see things clearly outlined, here is one example related to work:

• Goal: I want to improve my public speaking skills and confidence.

• Opportunity: Improving my public speaking skills will allow me to feel more confident while presenting, be seen and respected as trusted leader, and improve my overall career growth opportunities.

• Obstacle: I struggle with self-doubt and my fears can sometimes get the best of me, especially when speaking in front of senior management.

• Plan: To help overcome this fear and self-doubt, I will enroll in a public speaking course via LinkedIn Learning. I will coordinate with my manager to give at least three presentations at work by the end of next quarter. I will also practice my presentations with a trusted colleague once every 1-2 weeks to collect feedback while honing my skills. Lastly, I will block 5-minutes before each presentation to practice deep-breathing exercises while reminding myself that preparation and practice lead to results.

If I can share my personal experience: since implementing this approach, it has helped me not only to connect with the destination but to appreciate all I'm learning and how much I'm growing along the journey.

From Promotion Pressure to Purposeful Progress

About a year ago, an associate I supported as an HRBP requested time to meet. Topic of choice? Career progression. She asked how she could stand out and get promoted quickly — her sights set on one of the rare, coveted Account Manager roles within her business.

So I asked her, “What’s motivating you toward that role specifically?”

She paused, blinked, and said, “Because isn’t that the whole point? To keep moving up as fast as you can?”

Honestly, a mindset I had previously held myself.

So I invited her to reflect: What made her favorite AMs successful? That’s when her face lit up. She described people who were confident, open to feedback, emotionally intelligent, creative, and masterful at building relationships. She even named specific AMs that she looked up to and wanted to work more closely with.

That was our in.

We took her goal from “get promoted ASAP” (which, by the way, depended heavily on external factors like headcount and market performance) and reframed it to “develop skills and relationships that make me a strong candidate for the AM role.”

From there, she identified mentors, created feedback loops, and started actively developing her emotional intelligence and communication skills.

Her goal didn’t shrink. It expanded to build upon who she was and what she truly valued. What's more? Her refocus proved beneficial, successfully setting her apart from her class and landing her on the short-list for that very promotion.

Here’s How to Begin

As you think about setting goals that actually energize you, consider trying these practices in the coming days. Let this be a step toward cultivating your own, unique purpose-driven life:

1. If you haven’t yet read Personal Growth 101: Begin with You (Green Juice Not Required), consider starting there. It lays the foundation for how clarity around your values and strengths helps direct personal growth in ways that actually feel good and aligned.

2. Clarify values and strengths. It’s hard to build a meaningful life if we don’t know what matters most to us. Clarity is your friend here.

   • Take the VIA Signature Strengths Assessment to understand your natural gifts, or

   • Use Brené Brown’s values exercise to identify your core guiding principles.

3. Try the GOOP model for one goal. Pick a personal or professional goal and walk it through GOOP:

   • G: What exactly am I trying to do?

   • O: What will this provide me?

   • O: What could get in my way?

   • P: What’s my plan for navigating those obstacles?

Remember: goals rooted in honesty, values, and heart are the ones most likely to stick.

Final Thoughts

Personal growth isn’t about perfect systems or productivity hacks. It’s about connecting with what matters most and making choices that align accordingly.

And it’s never all-or-nothing. Growth is nonlinear, full of pivots, pauses, and practice.

Whether you’re setting goals to shift your career, improve your well-being, or just feel more like yourself again:

Start with you. Start with meaning. And don’t be afraid to GOOP it.

Step three is coming soon — we’ll talk about balancing ambition and rest, and why your hobbies aren’t frivolous (spoiler: they’re actually your fuel).

You’ve got this.

Now let’s grow together.

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