Personal Growth 101: Unlocking Transformation through Self-Reflection

We need to address something important: you need to stop drowning out or running away from your thoughts.

I know for many of you reading this, you likely had a visceral response to those words. But please take a deep breath and stick with me on this one.

For the last decade, we have been increasingly bombarded with noise and technological advancements that have allowed us to never go more than a few minutes in silence.

We have our phones, tablets, computers, smart devices, and TVs constantly feeding us noise in every possible form. Even when we're on the go, traveling, or in the middle of a quiet park, we are unlikely to be alone with our thoughts.

As a former colleague used to joke: I wake up and reach for my little screen, then go into the living room and turn on the big screen, then drive to work where I spend most of my day engaged with a medium screen, taking breaks to use my little screen, then go home and escape it all by turning on the big screen ... until I get into bed and wrap up the day on my little screen.

I get it – this is how the world largely teaches us to function.

But the truth? Constantly consuming and drowning out our own thoughts is keeping you trapped in cycles of burnout and hopelessness – increasingly practicing disengaged compliance. We are literally allowing a small handful of studio and app execs run nearly every minute of our lives without much thought.

But there is a way out.

After all, as the great Sister Mary Clarence taught her students in Sister Act II: Back in the Habit: “If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.” Amen!

Because allowing ourselves the space to hear and process our thoughts is not scary – it's the very path toward personal growth and empowerment.

My Journey from Restless to Restful 

Similarly to many of you, I used to have a complicated relationship with self-reflection.

To challenge me on this, a therapist encouraged me several years ago to start a journal – no judgment, no right or wrong. Simply writing out my thoughts a few days a week and then moving on.

It didn't take me long before I felt something shift. Rather than trying to drown out my thoughts or avoid silence – musicals were often my personal choice – I began to recognize certain themes and trends coming through.

By simply allowing myself the space to notice, I started to become so much more aware. And with that awareness, I began to feel moments throughout the day where I wanted to choose a different path, response, or reaction than the habitual patterns I had been following.

As the same therapist noted: "When you stop judging or fearing your thoughts, you can start to use them as a guide toward the person you actually want to be."

But to be honest, I didn't really expand upon this for several years.

That was until I began studying positive psychology.

Research in positive psychology consistently shows that self-reflection is a powerful tool for enhancing well-being, motivation, and personal growth.

Not only does self-reflection strengthen self-awareness and emotional intelligence, it helps to improve clarity around goals and reinforces a sense of empowerment and freedom of choice. By helping us process experiences, align with our values, or reframe limiting beliefs, reflection supports us in making better decisions for ourselves.

Put simply: self-reflection is the foundation on which we can cultivate a purpose-driven, meaningful life that is wonderfully, uniquely our own.

So, now knowing the real impact, you best believe I started a weekly reflection.

Every Saturday morning, I reflected upon the same series of simple questions about my previous week: what stood out, where did I feel great, where did I feel bad, and where could I be more aware in the week ahead.

I almost couldn't believe how much of my life had been on autopilot, and how much of my freedom I had willingly handed over to apps, sites, devices, and myths about what success, performance, and dedication had to look like.

As it turns out, regularly checking in with ourselves isn't just a cute or even fun journal habit – it's both powerful and transformative.

Practicing Self-Reflection

Reflection is so powerful, because it gives us clarity.

It’s not about assigning blame or self-criticism – it's about learning and growing. Neuroscience even backs this up, with research showing that reflection strengthens neural pathways and helps us to remember and implement the insights we discover during the reflection.

It empowers us to make choices aligned with who we truly are, rather than reacting to what’s around us or simply aligning with habitual patterns we've been taught along the way.

In other words, reflection helps us respond rather than react, and that is a game changer.

Forget creating the "perfect" environment. The real key to reflection is honesty and accessibility.

One of the simplest and most effective methods I've found is writing. It doesn't matter if it’s in a gorgeous leather-bound journal, a sticky note, an email, your phone notes, or even a literal scrap of paper on your desk – just write.

Writing helps quiet the noise in your head, bringing clarity and organization to complex thoughts. It also engages multiple areas of your brain, making it easier to process and to remember your insights.

So, here are three simple, powerful questions that you can use to guide your own reflection practice today:

1. What stood out from this week?

2. Any lessons that I learned?

3. If I could do it again, what would I change (that’s actually within my control)?

Start here and simply allow yourself to notice – no judgment required (or welcome, really). 

Final Thoughts

Remember: reflection is not about criticism or dwelling on the negative.

It's an act of radical self-care and empowerment. It reminds our brains – and ourselves – that we’re in the driver's seat of our own lives.

Yes, there are things that are out of our control and responsibilities we must maintain. But there are countless opportunities to begin to choose your own path along the way.

And for anyone who may have had a rough week or feels self-conscious about the difficulties you are reflecting on, please channel your inner Thomas Edison:

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that do not work."

You've got this!