Success (Re)Defined: When My Breakdown Returned Me Home

This week, I cried.

Not the brief, tender, teary eyed moment. I'm talking the "am I too old to be this emotional?" type of cry.

Frozen and overwhelmed by all the things I wanted to do – or more accurately, all the things I felt I should do or should have already done to earn the right to call myself “successful."

The day started with a quiet panic. I had taken a couple of days off to connect with a friend who came to visit – a decision I was committed to, but one that triggered a landslide of guilt. As I laid down for bed on Wednesday, that old familiar voice in my head began to whisper: you're so behind. You should’ve done more by now.

By noon on Thursday, I realized I hadn’t taken a break or eaten since starting my day around 6:45 – fueled solely by coffee and panic. A fairly common approach to work a year ago, but something I thought I had largely moved beyond.

So I made myself lunch, poured a tall glass of water, and sat at the dining table to rest. Thirty minutes, I told myself. Thirty minutes to just eat, hydrate, and breathe.

But instead of resting, I doomscrolled TikTok – telling myself “just five more minutes” on repeat until the full half hour was gone.

Frustrated with myself and annoyingly overstimulated, I rushed back to my desk determined to get something – anything – done.

But I couldn’t focus.

My overstimulated mind flooded with ideas, each screaming for attention. All feeling urgent, none feeling...right.

And to escape the chaos? I defaulted to an old reflex: escape. I grabbed my phone and tapped into the first notification I saw from LinkedIn.

What caught my eye next was a post titled, “Why Your Business Isn’t Successful.” To summarize: sell constantly, monetize everything, and hustle even harder.

Cue the final stage of my spiral.

My chest tightened, breathing quickened. My eyes began to well. Every idea previously screaming for attention was silenced, replaced by one singular, loud, and painful thought:

You are failing, and it’s your fault. You are a failure.

Lost Connection

Here's the thing though: I'm not.

A few days earlier, a friend asked to come visit, and I made the intentional choice just hours before her arrival to disconnect from work to be more present.

One of my core values – and a driving force behind why I became a coach – is meaningful connection.

In my former career (and life?), I was constantly sacrificing my values in pursuit of metrics and milestones that felt increasingly unsatisfying and empty.

The corporate world I came from – and that many of us experience – often prefers output over alignment. Productivity over purpose. Titles over truth.

And the goalposts? They never stop moving. Sometimes by the companies themselves, eager to get as much from us as possible. And sometimes by us, eager to do more, achieve more, prove more. (For anyone who hasn't already, Cal Newport's Slow Productivity is a wonderful read on this very topic.)

It’s no wonder that so many people feel adrift. Disconnected. Even hopeless. The dissonance between what we’re told to value and what actually fulfills us is exhausting.

And this is exactly what motivated me to leave my previous career in corporate HR and choose a path that felt aligned with who I wanted to be. I was no longer interested in building a life that looked good on paper but felt so unfulfilling.

In its place, I wanted to create a life grounded in my values and driven by my signature strengths. A life where success was measured not strictly by output, titles, or salary ... but by authenticity, impact, and meaning.

Cultivating a Life of Purpose

The journey wasn’t always easy, and it certainly didn't happen overnight.

I worked with my own coaches, I experimented with new and different ideas. I built, unbuilt, and rebuilt my approach from the ground up (more times than I'd like to admit).

I challenged my limiting beliefs and personal narratives that were keeping me small, and eventually – I realized I had not only built a business I was proud of, I had begun living a life grounded in alignment.

A life that brought me home to myself.

I discovered that when I started my mornings journaling about my values and the impact I wanted to have, everything flowed more easily. Creativity, compassion, and clarity came to life.

It's funny to think about, but the reality is that a solid ninety percent of what I’ve created for my business has sparked from the first ten percent of any given day.

(For anyone interested in exploring this specific practice for yourself, please feel free to check out the Bhavana Journal I created to support it.)

I also learned that reflecting on a highlight of my day every evening helped me to sleep better, dream more positively, and wake up feeling refreshed.

And one of the most important lessons I’ve learned?

Rest is not a luxury – it is my superpower.

Not just sleep (though I love a good nap), but rest that allows me to stay grounded and flourish.

Sensory rest when digital consumption becomes overwhelming and overstimulating. Mental rest when my shoulders are nearly fused to my ears and my brain feels like it's running into a wall. Creative rest when my “new” ideas start to look a heck of a lot like the same ideas I had a few weeks ago.

(This post wasn't meant to be so salesy, but I built a tool to support this, too, if you're interested: the Rest Regimen Journal.)

When I honor the need for rest – when I give myself space to be human first – I reconnect with my clients, my purpose, and my self.

And from that place? Meaningful opportunities appear without force.

Individuals reaching out to explore coaching, because a blog post resonated with them and gave them a renewed sense of hope.

My first corporate client expanding our resilient leadership training to more than double the original attendees.

A neighbor asking me to lead a coaching group for his son and friends struggling to navigate a world of endless possibilities and overwhelming pressure.

Moments that had nothing to do with hustle, and everything to do with humanity.

Success (Re)Defined

The truth is: that LinkedIn article was right.

By their definition of success, I’m failing.

I’m not currently working with dozens of clients. I don’t charge premium luxury rates. I haven’t landed massive corporate contracts or mapped out a seven-figure business plan.

But I am not failing.

I’m building meaningful connections – with clients, friends, neighbors, and strangers. I’m creating journals and blogs from a place of inspiration. I'm helping leaders reconnect with humanity and clients reconnect with themselves.

And I’m learning to access a deeper level of love, compassion, and trust than I ever thought possible.

This is my definition of success.

And it's true, it may never make me rich.

But I’ll take peace, purpose, and fulfillment any day.

Final Thoughts

If any part of this story feels familiar…

If you've been measuring your worth against someone else's idea of “success”...

If you’ve looked around and quietly wondered, “Is this really all there is?”

You’re not alone.

Please just take a breath.

Unclench your jaw, and relax your shoulders.

Ask yourself: What do I value most in this life, and where am I making myself proud?

You are not failing.

You don’t have to chase someone else’s version of success.

There’s another way forward – one that’s rooted in you.

You’ve got this.

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Sometimes breakdowns are more like breakthroughs in disguise. If you're ready to return home to yourself, I'd love to support you on the journey. Schedule your first coaching session today!