Wait, So What Is Coaching, Anyway?

A few weeks ago, I was on the phone with one of my brothers when he asked, “So what exactly do coaches even do?” 

I started to explain, but before I could get very far, he jumped in with his own answer: “I always thought coaches were just HR’s clean-up crew – like when a manager messes up and needs help not being an idiot – or like a therapist but for your career.” 

I couldn’t help but laugh. Especially since my onboarding paperwork literally includes a section that clarifies coaching is not therapy or mentoring. 

And he's not the only one who thinks this way. 

Just last week, I caught up with a former client over FaceTime, who shared what surprised her most about our work together. “I thought coaching was someone telling you what to do and then holding you accountable to their plan. Like a personal trainer, but for life and work.” 

She explained that her view had been shaped by years of playing sports and listening to how coaching was talked about at the office. "Everybody talks about coaches like they come in when there's a problem with management, help them fix it, and then ride off into the sunset,” she joked. 

She wasn’t expecting her coaching experience to include "so many questions" about her. Her goals. Her values. Her motivations. Her own, unique path. 

As she put it, “I wasn’t expecting you to help me see I had all the answers myself – or at least the tools – and that I just needed to learn how to access them.” 

Exactly. 

Common Coaching Myths

Since there seems to be so many misconceptions about coaching, what better way to address them than to call out a few of the most common and the reality behind them?

And if you at any point feel embarrassed for believing any of these myths, it's completely ok. I honestly believed most of them at some point too! 

1. Myth 1: Coaches tell you what to do. 

   • Nope! Through open-ended questions, mindful listening, and creating a safe space for you to explore, we help you to find a path that feels most appropriate and aligned with what you care about most. We, of course, can provide insights and suggestions along the way, but only to support you on your own unique path. And when you run into an obstacle or feel stuck, we help you to connect with your creative problem solving skills to begin moving forward again with confidence.

2. Myth 2: Coaching is only for people in trouble. 

   • It makes sense why a lot of people in corporate America feel this way, because many companies are lazy when it comes to training, waiting until there are problems to start addressing issues. But coaching is an incredible resource to help even the highest performers grow, balance, and realign. Actually, high performers can pretty easily describe every single one of my current clients. What's more: The Institute of Coaching reports that over 70% of individuals who receive coaching benefit from improved work performance, relationships, and communication skills. We always have ways we can improve, and a coach helps us to do so thoughtfully and effectively.

3. Myth 3: Coaching is therapy-lite. 

   • If you believe that therapy leaves you better off on the other side, then there is an understandable correlation here. But therapy dives into your past to understand learned patterns of thinking and to help you to heal trauma and emotional wounds with a licensed professional trained to support you through those challenging conversations. Coaching – although also leaving you better off on the other side – focuses more on the present and future. We certainly consider the past in ways that it has taught you, shaped you, and strengthened you. But our focus is on the present and future, and cultivating the skills, mindset, and clarity needed to step into the best version of yourself.  

So What Do Coaches Actually Do? 

Coaching isn’t about handing over a step-by-step manual. It’s about helping people to write their own. 

Spoiler alert, you’re not broken, so coaches have nothing to "fix" for you. Instead, we help you:

• Get clear on what you want and the motivations behind it

• Identify what’s getting in the way 

• Challenge old beliefs or unhelpful thinking patterns 

• Explore options and pathways forward 

• Plan for obstacles and how to overcome them

• And build strategies and action plans that feel aligned and achievable 

We may give insights or offer perspectives along the way, but we don’t give you answers.

We help you find your own – through mindful listening, open-ended questions, and a lot of supportive, non-judgmental space for you to explore honestly. 

Plus a dash of encouragement, of course. 

So What Does Coaching Actually Do? 

Still wondering why someone would invest in coaching? No worries! 

Here's what the research – and a little real-world experience – says about the results of coaching on one's life and career: 

• Boosts confidence. Over 80% of people who engage in coaching report greater self-confidence. And it’s not the fake-it-‘til-you-make-it kind. It’s the kind that you earn through practice, intentionality, clarity, and action. 

• Improves relationships. Coaching enhances your ability to listen, empathize, and communicate more effectively – at work, at home, and everywhere in between. And by aligning your life with what matters to you most, you show up for others more authentically, more openly, and more confident in who you are.

• Strengthens performance. From productivity to problem-solving to leadership skills and presence, coaching equips people to show up more fully and more effectively. Last Friday, an attendee of a recent Resilient Leadership training I facilitated told me that he had leveraged what he'd learned in several conversations since, as it provided him the insight and clarity needed to ask better, more effective questions in support of his team and their shared goals.

• Increases goal attainment. As a former HR professional who understands firsthand how poorly most companies approach goal-setting as little more than a check-the-box exercise, I know this one can be tricky to accept. But the reality is that coaching helps you define goals clearly, align them with values that matter to you, stay accountable to your progress, and learn how to course-correct when needed. With coaching, you don’t just set goals. You reach them.

• Supports well-being. A good coach helps you align your values, manage stress, and protect your energy. It’s not about doing more – it’s about doing what matters most. When I started to work with an executive coach, I was pushing myself to the max and experiencing nearly every symptom of burnout – despite the fact I love almost everything I was doing. Through coaching, I learned to leverage rest as fuel, break free from burnout, and begin to live a life that was more efficient, effective, and balanced.

Final Thoughts: You’re More Capable Than You Think 

There are a lot of misconceptions about coaching and how much it really helps us. But that’s why I love these kinds of conversations – and why I’m passionate about demystifying what coaching actually is. 

Because it's truly a transformative and empowering experience...for both the coach and the client.

It’s not about barking orders or trying to force you to take whatever path forward that I feel is most appropriate for you.

It's about helping you to create your own. 

With the right questions, a willingness to challenge old stories, and space to reflect with honest vulnerability, you’ll be surprised just how capable you already are. 

And with a coach beside you? You don’t just move forward.

You move forward with clarity, courage, and confidence.

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If you're ready to explore coaching for yourself, I'd love to support you along the journey. Schedule your first coaching session today!