Other People Matter: Why Relationships Are the Key to Health and Happiness

Last week, a stranger messaged me on TikTok after watching one of my posts about resilience. He wrote to say how much the message resonated with him and then asked a simple but profound question:

“What do you find most fulfilling about coaching?”

My answer came quickly, without much hesitation. It’s a quote from Dr. Christopher Peterson, one of the founders of positive psychology – three words that are deeply profound.

“Other people matter.”

For me, studying positive psychology led me into coaching. First, I learned how to cultivate resilience, optimism, and a values-driven life for myself. Then came the calling: to help others do the same.

Coaching is fundamentally about people. It involves supporting them toward their goals, being curious, empathetic, and creative. Watching progress unfold brings both pride and satisfaction – not just for the client, but for me too.

But here’s the thing: you don’t have to be a coach to experience that fulfillment. Peterson’s words – and the research behind them – remind us that relationships are not just nice extras. They’re lifelines. They are central to our health, well-being, and ability to thrive.

Who Was Christopher Peterson?

Dr. Christopher Peterson was a psychology professor at the University of Michigan, known for his warmth, humor, and ability to make complex science human. He co-created the Values in Action (VIA) classification of character strengths with Martin Seligman, helping launch the modern positive psychology movement.

But Peterson’s real focus wasn’t on abstract theories. It was on people. He noticed that psychology had long been preoccupied with fixing problems – treating mental illness, reducing symptoms, and repairing what was broken. Worthy goals, of course.

However, he believed that human flourishing was more than the absence of suffering. It was about the presence of meaning, optimism, and, most of all, connection. So when asked to sum up the entire field of positive psychology in just a few words, he came up with his powerful, three-word response:

“Other people matter.”

What he meant was that you can chase achievement, cultivate strengths, or fine-tune your mindset, but without relationships – without belonging, empathy, and love – those things lose their deepest meaning. That was Peterson’s heartbeat. He believed joy, resilience, and even identity itself were co-created in connection with others.

The Science Behind “Other People Matter”

The science is clear: our relationships profoundly shape our happiness and health. The Harvard Study of Adult Development – one of the longest studies ever conducted, spanning more than 80 years – found that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy and healthy throughout their lives.

Similarly, research published in PLOS Medicine showed that strong social connections increase survival odds by 50%, even outperforming lifestyle changes like quitting smoking or exercising regularly. Loneliness, on the other hand, raises the risk of heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline.

Beyond longevity, giving itself has measurable benefits. Acts of kindness boost oxytocin, reduce stress, and activate the brain’s reward centers, offering a biochemical lift that helps both giver and receiver. When life inevitably brings stress and setbacks, supportive relationships act as a buffer, reminding us we’re not alone and helping us recover more quickly.

Dr. Christopher Peterson’s three simple words – “Other people matter” – are not just philosophy; they’re biology.

5 Ways to Practice “Other People Matter”

You don’t need a coaching credential or a PhD to put this into practice. Connection is available to all of us every day. Here are five ways to start:

1. Make Micro-Connections

Think of them as the compounding interest of relationships. Smile at a coworker. Ask your barista how they’re doing – and listen to the answer. Send a “thinking of you” text. These micro-moments don’t seem like much, but they build a foundation for deeper trust and belonging.

2. Practice Active Listening

Most of us listen just enough to reply. Active listening is different. Put the phone down. Make eye contact. Reflect back what you hear. This small shift makes others feel seen and valued – and deepens the quality of every relationship.

3. Express Gratitude Out Loud

Silent gratitude is good. Spoken gratitude is transformative. Tell a colleague their work matters. Thank your friend for showing up for you. Appreciation creates upward spirals of positivity that ripple outward.

4. Offer Help (and Accept It Too)

Support is reciprocal. Look for chances to lighten someone’s load – share resources, lend an ear, encourage them. But don’t forget: allowing others to support you builds connection too. Vulnerability deepens trust.

5. Create Rituals of Connection

Relationships thrive on intentionality. Set up a standing coffee with a mentor. Keep a weekly check-in with a friend. Try a no-phones dinner with family. Rituals, no matter how small, anchor connection in our otherwise hectic lives.

The Importance of Connection in Professional Life

In the professional realm, the significance of connection cannot be overstated. Building relationships with colleagues fosters a supportive work environment. When we prioritize connection, we not only enhance our own well-being but also contribute to a culture of collaboration and trust.

The Role of Leadership in Fostering Connection

Leaders play a crucial role in shaping the culture of connection within organizations. By modeling vulnerability and openness, leaders can encourage their teams to engage authentically. This creates an atmosphere where everyone feels valued and heard.

The Impact of Connection on Team Performance

Research shows that teams with strong interpersonal connections perform better. They communicate more effectively, resolve conflicts more swiftly, and innovate collaboratively. When team members feel connected, they are more likely to contribute their best work.

Final Thoughts

Christopher Peterson knew something we often forget in the churn of modern life: our well-being isn’t built in isolation. It’s built in the quiet and ordinary connections with colleagues, friends, family, neighbors – even strangers who brighten our day.

Other people matter. And so do you.

So I’ll leave you with this:

Who in your life could use a little more of your attention, appreciation, or presence today?

Because when we show up for each other, we’re not just building better relationships – we’re building better lives.