Resilient Leadership: Leading with Humanity

If you’ve ever walked into a meeting and felt the need to armor up...

If you’ve ever hidden exhaustion behind a fake smile...

If you've ever lied through your teeth to avoided admitting you didn’t know the answer...

If you’ve ever thought, “It's time for work – get it together!”

You’re not alone.

But here’s the truth: resilient leadership doesn’t require perfection. It requires vulnerability.

And vulnerability begins with honesty.

The Lie: Leaders Must Always Have the Answers

We’ve absorbed a leadership model built on outdated ideas of power.

That in order to lead well, you must always be omniscient, decisive, unwavering, and in control.

We see this everywhere in corporate culture. Leaders praised for “pushing through” instead of pausing to reflect.

People applauded for their dedication to the company at the direct sacrifice to their personal life and relationships.

Teams that reward the "yes-men" (yes-people?) over those who ask questions.

Companies encouraging employees to keep their emotions at home rather than creating a culture in support of the unexpected complexity that is being human.

And it’s no wonder. For years, we’ve repeated mantras like:

“Never let them see you sweat.”

“Fake it until you make it.”

“Don’t bring emotions to work.”

When I was leaving a role once, a senior leader challenged the idea of embracing authenticity and vulnerability, claiming "I work with senior leaders, where vulnerable authenticity would mean screaming at someone when they make a mistake."

Let’s be clear: vulnerability is not the same as volatility.

Authenticity is not license to lash out, mistreat people, or be childish.

That’s your ego. That’s fear. That’s unprocessed emotion that has stepped into the driver seat.

Vulnerability is the courage to instead say things like:

“I don’t know for sure, but let's talk about it.”

“That didn’t go how I’d hoped, and I’m frustrated by that – but we will figure this out.”

“I’m struggling with some personal things today, but I trust my team to support me through it.”

It’s honesty without malintent. Emotional fluency without trauma dumping.

And it’s one of the most powerful tools a leader can have.

The Truth: Vulnerability Builds Stronger Teams

Its true: vulnerability is not just good for you as a human, it's good for business.

For those who doubt this is anything more than a nice belief system – and for the nerds who just love some good data – here is what the research tells us:

• A study by Harvard Business Review found that leaders who admit their limitations and involve their teams in finding solutions are rated as more trustworthy and competent.

• Research published in the Journal of Leadership & Organizational Studies shows that collaborative leadership increases employee engagement by 34%.

• Deloitte reports that companies with strong cultures of inclusion and trust are up to 20% more likely to retain top talent.

• And of course, Brené Brown's research has made it clear: vulnerability is not weakness – it’s the birthplace of innovation, connection, and courage. (If you haven't already, please read Daring Greatly to delve into this further)

When we stop pretending we are emotionless creatures who have it all figured out, we don’t lose authority – we actually gain respect.

We model what it looks like to lead as a whole human.

And we inspire others to do the same.

A Real Example: Laura’s Impactful Leadership

One of the best examples of this was my former manager, Laura Waitz.

She led with clarity, integrity, and an uncommon level of humanity.

Every month, she ran global HR team meetings where every voice mattered – from admins to managing directors. Everyone had experience and perspective worth considering.

When she didn’t know the best plan of action, she admitted it, inviting those closest to the work to design a more effective, efficient path forward than she could have done herself.

And when my father passed away unexpectedly, she didn’t just offer condolences or send flowers or send my family enough food for a week (all of which, she also did).

She checked in – often.

She shared her own experience of grief, warning me that it sometimes had the pesky habit of showing up at highly inconvenient times.

To counter its presence: speak up and admit it.

She made it okay for me to be human.

Because of her, I didn’t feel like I had to fake my way through the following months. I could be honest about what I was carrying – and as a result, I could be more present and more grounded.

That was over a decade ago, and we still keep in touch today. We literally just hung up from a wonderfully open and vulnerable call not 3-hours ago.

Because the impact of resilient leadership transcends jobs, companies, and time.

It stays with you – inspiring you in the way you show up, care for yourself, and lead others.

Vulnerable Leadership in Action

Leading with vulnerability doesn’t mean oversharing or being a hot mess.

It means:

• Admitting when you don’t know – and making space for those who do

• Letting your team see your process – and not just your polish

• Creating safe spaces – where people can be honest without fear (including you!)

• Practicing emotional honesty – without trauma dumping or emotional volatility

It’s leadership without the mask.

Leadership defined by honest vulnerability.

Leadership that allows you to build something real.

Final Thoughts

Nobody can do it all.

And the truth is – no one ever did. They just got really good at pretending.

But when we drop the performance and lead from our actual values?

When we normalize not knowing, not always feeling okay, not being everything to everyone?

Well – that's where inspiration sparks and the magic really happens.

So take a moment to breathe.

Ask yourself: Where do you have the opportunity to embrace a dash more vulnerability this week?

And please remember resilient leadership is never about having it all figured out.

It’s about showing up honestly, even when you don’t.

You’ve got this.

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Resilient leaders don't run from their humanity – they use it to cultivate trust, courage, and connection. If you're ready to become the best leader you can be, I'd love to support you along the journey. Review my current offerings or schedule your first coaching session today!