The Power of Connection, Even if You Love Solitude

I’m not ashamed to admit it: I really, really love being alone.

Solitude has become my sanctuary. I could spend hours reading, writing, thinking, walking in nature, watching a hummingbird hover over my garden, or spiraling into a research rabbit hole with zero regrets.

Although not always the case, I now thrive in quiet spaces that allow me to reflect, explore, and recharge.

But here’s the truth I keep bumping into: no matter how much I cherish my alone time, I also need connection.

This past week, I made an intentional effort to reconnect. I reached out to a few folks I hadn’t spoken with in a while. Nothing dramatic – just a few thoughtful messages, a fun FaceTime, a handful of check-ins.

But the impact? Honestly, life-giving.

A former manager and longtime mentor shared her journey the last year with such courageous vulnerability that we ended up in one of the most meaningful conversations we’ve ever had.

Over this weekend, a group call with two former colleagues-turned-close-friends had me laughing, reflecting, and tearing up with gratitude. (It also featured a debut appearance by a golden dachshund puppy who completely stole the show and our hearts in the process.)

I was reminded of something simple but important: solitude may be nourishing, but connection is essential.

Why Connection Matters So Much

Research backs this up again and again.

Strong social connections don’t just make us feel good – they make us healthier. People with meaningful relationships tend to sleep better, manage stress more effectively, experience less anxiety and depression, and even live longer.

In fact, one landmark study out of Harvard – which has been running now for over 80 years has consistently shown that the single greatest predictor of long-term happiness and well-being isn’t wealth, career success, or physical health.

It’s relationships.

A 2019 report from BetterUp found that employees who feel a strong sense of belonging show a 56% increase in job performance, a 50% drop in turnover risk, and 75% fewer sick days.

And if those weren't enough, studies also show that individuals with a strong social network are significantly better able to recover from both illness and trauma experiences.

The depth and quality of our connections matter more than almost anything else.

Whether we like it or not – and no matter how many times we claim otherwise – humans are social creatures who are wired to belong. Even for those of us who love some good alone time, connection reminds us that we’re not meant to carry everything alone. Community doesn’t have to be big, but it does need to be authentic.

How to Build Connection (Wherever You Are)

You don’t need a massive social circle or a calendar full of dinner parties. What you do need is a few intentional, meaningful ways to cultivate connection – right where you are.

Here are a few ideas to help you get started:

1. Schedule a “connection check-in.” Life gets busy. So instead of waiting for the stars to align or simply hoping for the best, be proactive. Pick one or two of your closest friends or family members, let them know you miss them, and schedule time to connect. It doesn't have to be an hours-long commitment to be meaningful and make a difference in your day (and theirs!).

2. Practice micro-moments of kindness. Connection doesn’t always have to be time-consuming to be meaningful. Consider grabbing your colleague a coffee, sending your friend a meaningful message about how much they inspire you, or taking a moment to ask your neighbor how they've been doing (and actually listen). These brief exchanges can build a sense of trust, warmth, and humanity into our daily routines.

3. Stop complaining about work Although easy to align with your colleagues around common enemies in your shared experience, it can actually amplify the negativity and create deeper seeds of resentment, hopelessness, and disconnection. Instead, start to talk about what lights you both up: projects you're excited to be working on, hobbies outside of work, or your families. If they have pets or children, it will almost certainly bring a lighter, more meaningful conversation than anything related to the perils of corporate America.

4. Reconnect through shared memories. Who doesn't love reminiscing on great experiences? Dig up an old photo, a song you once obsessed over, or a funny memory, and send it to someone who you shared it with and will appreciate it. Nostalgia is a surprisingly powerful tool for connection. It sparks a deep sense of personal joy and gratitude while reminding us that our pasts are filled with people who helped shape who we are.

5. Make time for play. Connection doesn’t always need to be serious or emotional. Laughter, joy, and playfulness are powerful bonding agents. Watch a funny movie or video together, dance to some great music, or play a game you both like. You can also try FaceTiming with your friend and her golden dachshund puppy, or rewatching K-Pop Demon Hunters on Netflix with your husband for the third time this week (or is that just me?). Either way, joy counts as connection too.

6. Join something that aligns with your interests. In a post-pandemic world, there is definitely some clear hesitation to joining group activities, but they can be deeply meaningful and a great source of new friends and connections. Whether it’s a local (or virtual) book club, a volunteer group, a yoga class, kickball league, or an online community for people who also love discussing bird facts (no judgment), just make it personal to you.

Final Thoughts: We Were Never Meant to Do Life Alone

You can absolutely love your solitude and still need community. You can find peace in stillness and purpose in connection. You don’t have to choose one over the other – they often work best in tandem.

So yes, keep making space for yourself. Read the book. Sit in the quiet. Breathe in the sunrise.

But also? Reach out. Send the text. Make the call. Let someone else into your world now and then. Because at the end of the day, we don’t grow just from what we know—we grow through who we know too.

You don’t have to be constantly social to be deeply connected.

You just have to be willing.

And maybe, when you are, a golden dachshund puppy will show up to cheer you on.

You’ve got this.